Archive for the ‘Rants’ Category

we were meant to live for so much more

I think I’m having a quarter-life crisis. Or maybe it’s just an epiphany.

But after watching Eat, Pray, Love (great book AND movie by the way) I came to the sudden realization that the culture I’m living in right now is not for me. I wasn’t meant to spend my entire life in the GTA, which is basically what I’ve done so far besides trips to Florida, PEI and Calgary. I’m a city girl, I know this for sure and right now there is no place I’d rather be at this very moment than Toronto.

But there is no way I’m living my whole life here without even experiencing the ways of different cultures. I’ve always felt kind of out of place – not that I’m insecure or anything. I have met amazing people in my life that I’ve bonded with on many levels, some I know I will be in touch with forever. But I always feel like I’m looking for something more in the culture of the city, something that Toronto can’t offer. I’ve always been really intrigued by other cultures – the food of Italy, the fashion of Paris, the music of the UK, the meditation of India. Little bits of culture that North American’s tend to find obscure are what I find the most beautiful.

My life so far has gone like this:

“Mom, I might go to Montreal with some friends.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“We should go on vacation somewhere exotic!”
“I wish.”

“I think I’m going to move to Paris when I’m older.”
“You’re crazy, good luck with that. Don’t you need to know french?”

As a child, I would always wonder why not? Why can’t we just break away from our culture and just get away from it all on a limb. I thought it would be one of those things that I would understand as I got older. But instead my curiosity has grown, and there is absolutely no convincing argument to the question of why not. Another reason I’m not made for North American culture, the people of the general public that I’ve come to know could come up with tons of reasons why not.

What really got to me was when a friend of a friend that’s not from North America was shocked to find out that people cancel plans. “People do that?” Um, yeah, constantly and I’m sick of having to ask “can we actually do this?” “are you sure?” “Will you actually follow through?” every time I make plans with someone, and regardless of their answer I’d say 50% of the time our plans never happen. I used to think it was me expecting too much of people

I’m not saying that my life will fall in to place as soon as I move to another country. I just want to lose myself in different cultures and find a community that I feel at peace with, and experience bliss in 🙂 It could even be where I am right now, but right now is just not the right time.

ANYWAYS. This is why I’m probably doing an exchange program third year and why I plan to move to Paris for 6 months – a year once I’m done school, and also why I’m going to make it my goal to travel as much as possible. Travel journalist much? Perhaps.

Categories: Rants